“These Are My Boundaries, What Are Yours?”

“These Are My Boundaries, What Are Yours?”

In our 3-6 Montessori Kinder classroom, a four-year-old student was quietly engrossed in a book when her friend approached a bit too closely for her comfort. Demonstrating remarkable self-awareness, she calmly expressed her feelings: “This is my boundary. I don’t want to be hugged right now, and that’s okay,” while gesturing a circle around herself with her little hands. Her friend immediately respected her request, simply saying “okay” and leaving her be.

In a Montessori environment, children of varying ages are often engrossed in their tasks, sometimes independently and sometimes collaboratively. Naturally, conflicts can arise when someone unintentionally disrupts another’s focus or comes in their way. It’s fascinating to observe how children respond when their personal space is unexpectedly invaded or their concentration interrupted.

We introduce the concept of “boundaries” in our classroom by physically drawing a chalk line around ourselves. This helps them grasp the idea that each of us have invisible boundaries that others should not cross. Children find it fascinating that these boundaries can change daily or even multiple times a day. It’s perfectly acceptable for them to decline a hug or request space without hurting the other person’s feelings.

How does your child respond when someone tries to hug them but they’re clearly not in the mood?

Phrases like “Please stop” or “No thank you” and even “These are my boundaries” are slowly replacing the otherwise shouting or pushing. Of course, children require time and opportunities in a forgiving environment to refine these skills.

Here’s a delightful song we enjoy singing to reinforce our respect for each other’s boundaries: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSFvJbSQdA4

By Joanne Lopes | Montessori Guide